Today’s news:

He didn’t really have a gun!

for The Brooklyn Paper

A man robbed a State Street bodega on Oct. 5 by using the old trick of pretending the hand in his pocket was a gun.

The perp, who was wearing a gray baseball hat, approached the counter of the store, near Bond Street, at around 6 pm with his hand in his coat. He claimed he had a gun, and demanded money from the register. The cashier, a new employee, complied, and the thug helped himself to $60.

The criminal then cryptically remarked, “You’re lucky it’s your first day,” pulled out his finger to reveal that he didn’t really have a gun, and ran off on Bond Street.

Church crime

A completely shameless thief stole a little old lady’s purse from inside a Henry Street church while the 69-year-old woman was gardening outside on Oct. 2.

The woman was tending to the garden owned by the church, which is near Clark Street, for a few hours beginning at 11 am. When she returned to the church, where she had put her bag down, she discovered it was gone, along with the $80 inside.

T-shirt theft

A Jay Street clothing boutique had its supply of T-shirts stolen after it closed on Oct. 7.

The owner locked the door at 6 am and returned to the store, near Water Street, 12 hours later. He saw that the door had been pried open, and that 60 shirts had been stolen, along with his laptop and monitor.

Bad answer

A 14-year-old boy was accosted by a group of thugs while walking to the subway on Sept. 30, and he picked the wrong time to stand up for himself.

The youth was near the subway entrance at Willoughby and Jay streets at around 3:30 pm when four men approached him. One asked, “Do you have any money on you?” and the boy replied, “That’s my own personal business.”

They didn’t like that response, so the four perps surrounded him and punched and kicked him to the ground. They went through his pockets and took $50 before running off.

F is for fracas

An F-train rider’s commute was ruined on Oct. 3, when a pair of passengers manhandled her and snatched the phone out of her hand.

The woman was on a Manhattan-bound train when the two perps boarded at Jay Street around 12:30 pm. While the train was moving, one of them suddenly grabbed her from behind and held her, while his associate snatched her Blackberry.

The criminals got off at the next stop, York Street, and ran away. Cops said that there are cameras in the Jay Street station and the perps may have been caught on tape.

Ransacked

A Dean Street residence was broken into on Oct. 1, and the thieves cleaned the house out of nearly $10,000 in designer products.

The two men living in the house, which is near Fourth Avenue, left for their respective jobs around 10 am, leaving the second-floor bathroom window open. The burglars must have noticed this, as they snuck in through the window and combed the house for valuables.

When the owners returned at 8 pm, their home was a mess, and among the items missing were a Prada backpack, a Louis Vuitton bag, $800 in foreign currency, and numerous cufflinks and bracelets.

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