Today’s news:

Oh, no: They got the otoscope!

The Brooklyn Paper

Doctor: No!

Burglars broke into a Graham Avenue apartment while the resident was on vacation, snatching valuable medical supplies and electronics.

The thieves got into the apartment through the front door between 4 am on Aug. 16 and 8:30 am on Aug. 25, cops said.

Once inside, the crooks grabbed an ophthalmoscope (which is used to look into the eye), an otoscope (which is used to look into the ear), and a blood pressure cuff (which is used to check a patient’s blood pressure).

The hoodlums also grabbed two external hard drives, a laptop, a cellphone charger, a cassette recorder, a handbag, clothing, shoes and jewelry before escaping from the apartment, which is near the corner of Engert Avenue.

Boutique broached

Thieves picked a padlock, lifted a security gate, and forced their way into a North Fifth Street shop overnight on Aug. 29, but all they got was a lousy $42.

The crooks struck the store, which is between Bedford Avenue and Berry, between 5:15 pm and 11:15 am the next day.

Chokehold!

A brutal bad-guy grabbed a 25-year-old woman by the throat, threw her to the ground, and grabbed her purse on Aug. 27 as she walked to the subway.

The vicious attacker put his victim in a chokehold of Leonard Street and Metropolitan Avenue at around 9:50 pm.

When the assailant pushed his victim to the ground, her purse spilled open, leaving her wallet, iPod, credit card, cellphone and keys strewn across the sidewalk.

The crook grabbed her valuables and fled.

Apple tree?

A hoodlum used some wood to steal an Apple from a North Fifth Street apartment on Aug. 27.

While the victim was out of the house between 9 and 11:45 pm, the crook propped open a rear window with a two-by-four and snatched a MacBook computer from apartment, which is between Roebling and Havemeyer streets.

Sneaky sneaks

Burglars stole two safes from a North Sixth Street shoe store overnight on Aug. 27.

The crooks got into the ballet flat emporium, which is between Bedford Avenue and Berry Street, between 9:30 pm and 10:15 am the next morning, and escaped with two safes from the back of the store.

The thieves might have had keys to the front gate and front door, because there were no signs of forced entry, cops said.

— Ben Muessig

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