Has anyone seen this guy sporting a nasty rash — or an extra leg?
Some dipstick took a dip in the notoriously noxious waters of the Gowanus Canal on Saturday wearing nothing but his shorts — as first reported by Gothamist — and now the Brooklyn Paper’s Amateur Science Bureau is hoping to locate the specimen to study how he is faring in the aftermath.
A neighbor who spotted the swimmer said he didn’t recognize the guy, but that he definitely seemed to have a local’s knowledge of the waterway — he jumped into the filthy fluid to show off for his friends, the witness said, not because he confused it for a summer cool-off spot.
“The swimmer was aware of the toxic waste,” said Martin Bisi, who spotted the guy floating in the waterway near the Whole Foods parking lot on Third Street. “It seemed like part of the daredevilness of what he did was because of the reputation of the canal.”
Bisi said he heard the man joking to his pals about dead bodies as he splashed his way to the middle of Lavender Lake, next to the “Harvest Dome” — an art exhibit that is slowly sinking in the coal tar-laden waters.
The bozo swam around the pernicious stretch’s assortment of animal carcasses and missing banjos for about five minutes — keeping his head above water — before making his way back to shore, emerging with no visible mutations, Bisi said.
The federal Environmental Protection Agency strongly recommends against touching the canal’s waters, which flood with poop from the nearby sewer system every time it rains, and are riddled with e. coli and gonorrhea. The waterway is also filled with toxic waste and heavy metals that amassed in its days as an industrial dumping ground.
Daredevil activist Christopher Swain swam the stretch last year to raise awareness about how gross the water is, but even he wore a hazardous-materials suit and periodically gargled with hydrogen peroxide.
Conditions on Saturday would have been especially disgusting thanks for a rainstorm on Friday evening, according to local experts.
“There was probably some sewage overflow in the canal,” said Andrea Parker, who is the executive director of waterway steward group the Gowanus Canal Conservancy. “It seems pretty gross.”
Bisi said this is the first time he has ever spotted a human swimming in the waterway in the 37 years that he’s lived in the neighborhood — but also noted that it is easier to access than in area’s grittier days, when the canal was fenced off from the public.
“The canal is more accessible to a stunt like this now,” he said. “In the past, they would have had to go through fences.”
If you or someone you know is the Gowanus Canal swimmer, please contact the Brooklyn Paper at the e–mail address below — and then contact a medical professional.
