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Fecal Matters: This book has the scoop on poop

Fecal Matters: This book has the scoop on poop
Artie Bennett

This new book doesn’t stink, but it’s full of poop.

Brooklyn author Artie Bennett is heading down to Bay Ridge’s Book Shoppe on Oct. 26, where he’ll read from his new book “Poopendous,” an appropriate second effort for a writer who began his foray into children’s literature with “the Butt Book.”

“It’s the perfect follow up,” said Bennett. “Since it’s my number two book.”

Bennett, who’s been called “the Dr. Seuss of your caboose,” happily describes himself as a juvenile delinquent — albeit, of the grown-up variety — and said that the bathroom habits and bowel movements of Earth’s many creatures have always interested him.

In fact, “Poopendous” is full of fascinating facts about your excrement, which Bennett has dug up through extensive research into the fecal matter at hand.

Ew-elry: Midwood author Artie Bennett’s new book, “Poopendous,” is full of fun facts, like how some people wear moose-poop earrings.
Artie Bennett

“Even before I wrote the glimmering of a verse, I researched globs of fun facts about poop,” said the author.

For instance, “Poopendous” will prepare kids for the bathroom — and the classroom — with its crazy stool facts, like how wombats poop in cubes!

“There’s some speculation as to how it evolved,” Bennett said. “The fact that the poop is cube shaped keeps it from rolling, and one scientist speculates they evolved that way to keep falling poop from alerting any roaming predators to their baby wombats.”

Bennett’s colorful verses and the illustrations of artist Mike Moran extol the many virtues and applications of different varieties of poop, which have been used for everything from insulating homes to beautifying ears — in addition to flushing out children’s books.

“‘Poopendous’ is subtitled, ‘The inside scoop of every type and use of poop,’ and what I’ve tried to do, in humorous verse, is de mystify poop,” said Bennett. “In my research I’ve found out about moose poop earrings. They’re sold in places moose abound and to people who don’t know any better.”

Cubed crap: In Artie Bennett’s new book, “Poopendous,” kids will learn about wombats, and how their poop is cube-shaped.
Artie Bennett

Aside from determining the secret origins of “jewelry” in moose country, Bennett said that the most important quality of his books are that kids love them and, if it takes poop to get kids to read, poop it is.

“They’ve called the books gateway books,” said Bennett. “So they might go from ‘the Butt Book’ to Dostoyevsky.”

“Poopendous,” may answer all of your questions about poop, just like “the Butt Book,” answered many lingering questions about your fanny, but one question may never be answered. Why?
“People have asked me what possessed me to write books on such unspeakable topics,” said Bennett. “What I’m prone to say is, ‘I have some posterior motive.’”

Artie Bennett reads “Poopendous” and “the Butt Book,” at BookMark Shoppe [8415 Third Ave. between 84th and 85th streets in Bay Ridge, (718) 833-5115, www.bookmarkshoppe.com] Oct. 26, 11 am.

Reach reporter Colin Mixson at cmixson@cnglocal.com or by calling (718) 260-4514.
Pooping out loud: Midwood author Artie Bennett will be at the BookMark Shoppe in Bay Ridge on Oct. 26, where he’ll read from his new book, “Poopendous.”
Artie Bennett