Today’s news:

Beating with a Latin flavor

The Brooklyn Paper

Text punch

A gang of eight alleged Latin Kings members punched and kicked a teen on Bushwick Avenue on April 14, but a few were soon collared by the police.

One of the teen gang members texted the victim to “come to the corner” of Maujer Street at 9 am. Upon his arrival, he was punched in the face and then brutally beaten by the remainder of the gang.

Worse, one perp stole the teen’s phone, and the group fled leaving the victim bruised and swollen.

Two gang members, ages 15 and 17, were arrested hours later.

Face shot

A man was accidentally shot in the face as he checked out an argument on Hooper Street on April 17.

The victim told cops that he was near S. Fifth Street at around 6 am when he heard the tell-tale signs of a brouhaha: bottles breaking and shots fired.

Unfortunately, one of those bullets struck the victim.

Ring theft

A sneaky thief broke into a Seigel Street apartment on April 13, stealing three rings.

The thief broke open the front door of the building — which is between Graham Avenue and Humboldt Street — at about 8 am and quietly lifted $750 worth of gold rings. He left the way he came, cops said.

Resta-rob

A thirsty burglar cleaned out a Spanish restaurant on Grand Street on April 14, taking cash and all the alcohol he could carry.

The brigand broke a lock and entered the side door of Cafe Argento on Union Avenue at about 1:30 am, before taking the television, $500 worth of booze, and $1,500 from the cash register.

In a bitter irony, the name of the restaurant is a slang term for money.

Chevy tool

A handy thief stolen construction tools out of a truck parked on Devoe Street on April 13.

The victim told cops that he had parked near Judge Street, but when he returned at 11 pm, he discovered that the perp had broken into the Chevy Silverado and taken a circular saw, a screw gun, a ratchet set and a tool bag, valued at a total of $1,300.

Toyota missing

A thief stole a new 4×4 that had been parked on S. First Street on April 9.

The perp broke into the Toyota Tundra at 8 am and drove the $49,000 SUV up Kent Avenue and out of sight.

Sad Division

A crook stole a sedan parked on Division Avenue on April 13 while its owner was at home across the street.

The crook swiped the car from a spot near Bedford Avenue — and the theft was discovered when the owner returned to the spot at around 8 am to find his $19,000 car gone.

Knock out

A group of teenage thugs punched and kicked an unlucky victim on April 14 as she was about to walk up to the Lorimer Street J train.

The victim told cops that she was near Broadway at around 4:45 pm when the thugs sneaked up from behind and grabbed her, striking her in her left eye before stealing her phone.

Bus stab

A high school student stabbed her classmate with a pencil on a school bus on April 15.

The teenage perp took the leaden instrument and stabbed her victim in the left side of the head at 11:30 am while the bus was stopped on the corner of Bedford and Division avenues. The victim was taken to Bellevue.

Laptop nab

A wily thief stole thousands of dollars in high-tech gadgets from a Leonard Street apartment on April 15.

The thief entered the building, which is between Devoe and Ainslie streets, at around 8:30 am and gathered a $2,000 laptop, a camera, and $300 worth of jewelry from the apartment.

Time of day

Two perps used the old “What time is it” ploy to steal an iPod from a man on Graham Avenue on April 14.

The clock had almost struck 8:30 am when the perps approached the man near Moore Street and asked for the time. When he was distracted, one of the thugs grabbed the $350 device. Both thugs then fled into the nearby public housing development, cops said.

Motorcycle ride

A crook stole a motorcycle that had been parked on Boerum Street on April 14.

The perp took the $10,000 Kawasaki motorbike at about 9 pm and fled up Manhattan Avenue, leaving its owner stranded.

Shabbos break-in

A brigand broke into a Middleton Street apartment on April 16 and ransacked it — all for a measly $15.

The burglar slipped into the apartment’s kitchen window at 6 pm on the corner of Lee Avenue, leaving two footprints on the kitchen counter and wrecking the family tablecloth.

The burglar also lifted $15 in donations from the victim’s tzedakah box and fled while the family was out for shabbos.

Face-wash

Two squeaky-clean thieves cleaned out a Bedford Avenue drug store on April 13 of its face wash and shampoo, but left the conditioner. Both were later arrested.

The perps entered the store which is between S. Eighth and S. Ninth streets, at around 3:30 pm, taking five bottles of shampoo and a bottle of face wash, while one of them punched the owner in the face and sprayed him with a pepper spray for good measure.

Police later apprehended the two perps.

Park slash

A violent thug slashed his victim with a knife on Sharon Street outside Cooper Park on April 13 and ran away.

The thug bumped his victim at 6:30 pm, starting a verbal argument that was resolved when he cut the victim’s right elbow and left side of his back.

Compact crime

A waste management company is missing its beloved trash compactor after a clever thief broke into the Scholes Street yard and stole the heavy compactor on April 9.

The thief broke the front gate and entered the building, between Gardner and Scott avenues, before lifting the $10,000 compactor onto his truck and driving away.

Train punch

Three violent thugs punched their victim in the face and took his jewelry on the M train at Wyckoff Avenue on April 16.

The thugs approached their victim on the train at around 7:40 pm as one shouted, “Give me your chains!”

The man handed over $1,170 worth of jewelry and his cellphone, but the thugs were apprehended at the Essex Street station.

— Aaron Short

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